Breaking news – your spouse is/was cheating on you! But, he/she has come clean admitting their infidelity. The next step is yours.
Do you offer forgiveness and attempt to amend the breach in your relationship? Or does this betrayal of trust break the relationship, leaving it in a state of disrepair. The choice will undoubtedly be difficult and depends on the context of one’s relationship and the specifics involved in the infidelity. However, the decision-making will ultimately be yours. So, take the time to digest the information and apply logic. Is the relationship worth the effort or is it best to cut ties and begin anew?
The longevity and quality of the relationship is an important characteristic to consider. If the relationship is in its’ early stages, it may not justify the restoration work needed to repair the damage done. In fact, this early negative sign may save you time and heartbreak in the long run. Allow it to simply be a blip on the radar. Note it, learn from it, and move on.
However, if the relationship is long-standing, the decision will be more complicated, meriting deeper and extensive contemplation. Was the infidelity a simple momentary slip up? Was it a mistake that your spouse demonstrates deep regret and remorse for? Is it the first time? What was the extent of the infidelity? Was it a full blown affair or a one-night stand? How much deception was involved? Was the act committed with someone you know? Has all contact with this person been severed? Do you have children that would be affected by a separation/divorce? Were you happy/content in this relationship? Or is this the straw that broke the camel’s back?
The end game is that if there is more to be gained by staying together then lost by separating, you, as a couple, may decide to try and fix what has become broken. The process will, to a certain extent, be like starting over and building the trust and intimacy all over again. But if you don’t believe that you will ever be able to trust your spouse again then moving on could be your best move. Otherwise the situation will linger and limit your life and relationship in the long-term.
