Guilt over an affair may eat at the offender, causing him/her to see an admission of honesty as the best way to get rid of that feeling. However, if the affair is over, sometimes the fallout of revealing the truth is worse.
When You Should Tell Them
If your spouse strongly suspects that you have been unfaithful, consistently brings up the possibility and is hot on the scent of your infidelity, confessing and explaining the circumstances may be your best option. If he/she is going to find out, it’s better to hear it directly from you than through other means. By admitting your mistake, you are taking control of the situation,admitting guilt, and providing context which could help save the relationship. If they find out before you say anything, there is little to no chance of regaining the trust to continue your relationship.
When to Stay Silent
If the opposite is true and your spouse is completely in the dark, some suggest that keeping it that way may be best for both of you. While a suspecting spouse may feel a small sense of relief and/or even appreciate your candor, a naive spouse may be blindsided by your admission. While the truth may set you free, it could crush your spouse, tearing at the fundamental fabric of your relationship often permanently. No one wins if your infidelity was a true mistake that you have no intent on repeating.
Knowing the truth and what to do with it can be a tricky situation. Honesty is considered a virtue in the hypothetical realm; however, depending on the situation, silence could be a better practice. Think carefully about the ramifications both options offer, because the decision will have lingering effects.
